Beautiful Fate
by Feros
Summary: A little introspective on Seishirou and his musings on Subaru, himself, and their fate. Shounen-ai insinuations.


Title // Beautiful Fate  
Author // Feros  
Warning // Yaoi / Shounen-ai / Light slash insinuations  
Disclaimer // Sadly, I own nothing.  
Rating // PG-13  
Pairing // Light Seishirou x Subaru  
Other Info // Takes place just before the final battle. Lines starting with //slashes are past events.  
POV // Seishirou  
Part // Part 1 of 1

  
Beautiful Fate  


What a beautiful night.

The air is clear and the temperature is pleasant. Tonight, I know, will be our last meeting. These past years I have thought it over, my decision. Hokuto, of course, was the one who forces me to make a choice. Before, it was simple. I would have killed him and been done with it. I would not have regretted it. Her final spell, though, has brought a new dimension to my thinking--and added years onto her brother's life. 

'I did warn you, Hokuto-chan, that I wasn't a man to be trusted.'

Tonight, it will end. How it will end, exactly, is a different story.

My wish and his are different. That was surprising to hear. I had assumed that we wished the same thing.

My feet carry me along the sidewalks with no aid from my mind. Carrying me towards my fate. I've grown tired of this life. I have been the Sakurazukamori for many years now. I've been the Sakurazukamori since I killed my mother at the age of 15. She told me then of my fate--the fate of all the Sakurazukamori. She said that she was passing on being the title of 'the Blossom Star' to me--until I was killed and passed it on to the person who was my murderer.

//Who is going to kill me?

//The one...that cares for you the most.

//I can't have anyone that cares for me.

//Long ago, I thought that way, too--until the day I first met you.

I've learned since then, and thought about it. Even at that time, though, I could see that it was a beautiful thing to die by the hand of someone who cared for you. Setsuka looked beautiful as I killed her.

I see him, as he approaches. He's grown very handsome. I stop in front of him, taking out a cigarette. He lights it up for me.

All the while I still muse over his and my fate. He attacks, I respond.

To invoke the technique I used on his sister...

'It is possible that I could somehow counter her spell. She wasn't a very powerful onymouji. There is the complication of her giving her life for it--that alone would strengthen the spell considerably.'

I use my own deck to block an attack of Subaru's as I think. My body moves separately from my mind--doing what it needs to survive, but not interrupting my musings.

'It is possible that I could bypass the spell.'

Subaru keeps his attack up, determinedly. Cute.

'But I do not believe I will.'

We're nearing the end. Curiosity hits me as I think on "Kamui's" words. "Isn't it your wish to kill me?" Subaru replies that my death isn't his wish.

'Intriguing.'

I realize I've decided. Also, I believe I've figured out Subaru's wish. If he doesn't want to kill me, he probably means he wishes to be killed by me. Sentimental.

'Sadly, I'm not a man to trust with you wishes. Isn't that right, Hokuto?'

I launch myself into the air. My arm rears back. 

Briefly I hear Hokuto's dying voice in my mind as she explains that to use this technique would mean my own death.

Subaru sees the attack and I can almost see his mind choose to accept the fatal blow instead of trying to survive. I strike, knowing what will happen next is something my Subaru-kun would never expect.

Pain explodes through my chest.

'So, this is what it feels like to be dying.'

Shock registers in his eyes as he realizes that *his* chest is whole and blood is dripping down *his* hand. How amusing. My pierced heart makes it hard to speak, to think.

'Subaru-kun, don't you understand what happened? You can thank your sister. I do have to admit that this wasn't quite what she had in mind, though.'

He removes his hand from it's place through my chest; a rush of my blood surges out of the wound it leaves. He clutches me to him, still not quite understanding the situation.

'This is what it was like, mother. This is what it was like for you to be held by someone who loved you while you died.'

Black inks at my vision as I explain to him. 

'Maybe it's selfish to force my own wish upon him instead of granting his.'

I simply can't force myself to regret it. After years of being the Sakurazukamori, an assassin, one doesn't--can't afford to experience that emotion. The feeling of my life running out of me, blood soaking my back, pain throbbing through my body--it's all very exquisite.

'Ah, Subaru-kun, it has come to the last. I will die by your hand and my own will. What a twisted, beautiful fate. I told Setsuka I could have no one care for me--and I believed I could care for no one. The first is not true--because you and Hokuto both cared. The second, is still in question. I don't know if I care for you. Perhaps if I had killed you I would know the answer. You need me to say it, though, I can see.' 

"I love you."

And I'm falling forward, into darkness.

'Perhaps it's true. Perhaps it's not. At this point it doesn't matter. Fate has said that I would die by your hand, and I've obliged.'

After all, I couldn't think of any better way for it to end.

What a beautiful fate.

  
Author's Note // I'm sure this is absolutely horrendous in its grammar and spelling. In all truth--I become somewhat disjointed at night, but felt like I had to write anyway. Review, please.


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